Knickers to Christmas, Pants to Presents

They give you enough socks, but relatives aren't so quick to hand out the underpants come Christmas time.

"I thought these G-strings would suit you," Aunty Pat would never say.

"Why don't you try them on in front of the fire where it's nice and warm?"

That special purchase is reserved for that someone special, which means women end up with cupboards full of whore's drawers and men have a collection of kecks decorated with dopey reindeer.

On the plus side, when you've left all your favourite smalls to rot in the washing machine, you always know there's a clean pair tucked away, albeit it a pair with a big red nose amusingly plastered all over your own big, red...

That's why it was so sad to find out this week that 25% of London's men don't change their underpants every day. As an index of Yuletide loneliness, that takes some beating.

This is the time of year to think of others. So what better way to do so than urge all relatives to buy single men undies featuring cartoon Christmassy animals covering a man's prized possession?

"I could even swear it glows," as Aunty Pat would say. The halo, she means.